You’ll never read this, because this whole site is a secret. You’ll never know how hard this is our how often I cry over you. There’s no point in telling you because you’d never believe me. It would just seem like a big suspicious lie.

I know I’m going to cry when we go before the judge because doing this is going to open the crack in the shell around my heart and let it bleed.

The truth is that as much as I hate the things you do and say and even who you’ve become, there is this aching tunnel in my heart from loving you.

But the choices you’ve made and the actions you’ve taken give me no responsible alternative. I’m doing this to protect our son from your drug addiction and the potential dangers you now represent.

I would sacrifice anything to keep his little heart safe, even you. I would say I’m sorry but that would only be partly true. I’m not sorry for doing this but I am sorry this is what it’s come to. I can’t apologize for the things you have done to put me in this position. But it is regretful that this is the place we’ve ended up.

I wanted to marry you and have our family. I wanted to love you and be happy. Here we are instead, going to court to legally stop speaking; to prevent you from taking and neglecting our son, or worse.

You probably haven’t slept for days. I couldn’t imagine what plots you’ve cooked up for me. This isn’t to get even. This isn’t about you. This is about protecting me and our boy. It’s all for him.

You will never know how much this hurts me, or how many tears I’ve shed. More to come, I’m certain. The truth is I still love the man I met and I miss him but there comes a time when a person has to stop hoping someone will get better and face the reality at hand.

You are a meth addict. You’re mind is addled and agitated. You can barely take responsibility for yourself, let alone a 2 year old. You’ve made threats and alluded to hurting me. I’m the only thing he’s got left and I’ll be damned if you’re going to take that from him.

So yes, I love you, but no, you can’t be a part of this life with us.

Goodbye.