​Listen to Heathens by twenty one pilots on Napster: http://www.napster.com/track/Tra.231039680

S. would’ve liked this song. I put on his hoodie yesterday and it felt good for a while like he was with me.

I tried going on some dates and even had sex. It was fucking terrible. I don’t really regret it but it sure just made me wish I could crawl into S’s arms and get fucked proper. I doubt I’ll ever find what I had with him and for now I think my terrible sex just made being alone easier by putting things into perspective. I’m not that lusty anyway. I just miss cuddling and being loved.

Oh well. Miss you sir. Wish you were alive and well. (clean)